Cleanse your space…
A Letter From a Therapist: Issue 16
It is understood that humans are environmentally-influenced beings who’s mood/emotional presentation can be heavily charged depending on the space they are exposed to. This could include one’s living space, working space, or other locations that they spend frequent or extended periods of time. While many can understand the importance of maintaining a cleansed and ordered living environment, they often don’t comprehend how deeply this effort can go for coping and regulation of internal distress.
Our living spaces are generally within our control to manage and direct in whatever way we choose. We can influence essentially everything from the order and layout of items to the decor and styling. For many of us, there is a threshold of comfort that we attempt to maintain in our living space and any derailment outside of that threshold can trigger distress due to a perceived sense of lacking control. Interestingly, some people find that they enjoy existing in more chaos while others hold tight reign on the layout of their spaces. But even within the more disarrayed settings, the individual has some unique form of a system that they have developed to manage the space. This is its own form of control for that individual and gives them their own authentic peace of mind. When your living/working environments are completely outside of your control and management it can trigger emotional distress.
Many coping initiatives for emotional distress involve relaxation through sensory interventions (i.e. relaxing with calming sounds, scents, or tactiles). Therefore when our space seems unmanaged or disordered we either need to implement adjustment or we will avoid the space and further fall into our emotional turmoil. Envision how you would visualize and transform your environments into safe spaces - what is necessary to achieve that initiative? Is a particular color or lighting in order to shift the mood you feel in the location? Is there simply too much in the space that the mind gets overwhelmed and selective purging with a support could guide a healthy elimination effort? There are a lot of spatial changes that can be achieved without the cost of purchasing new items through rearrangement and selective placement. Sometimes a change in the layout is enough to channel a new energy and charge inspiration.
The most effective method of maintaining a cleansed space is to include the task as a consistent daily initiative. The intensity and exhaustion of these initiatives will become smaller and less intimidating if they are more frequent. So my suggestion is to start small and start today. Organize one drawer or burn a new candle. Begin to love your space and manifest the nest that you believe reflects the mindset you hope to achieve.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC. LMHC
November 16, 2024
The Mind-Body Connection…
A Letter From a Therapist: Issue 15
What is the mind-body connection and why is it a topic that therapists obsess over? The mind-body connection is a very simple yet imperative concept for essentially all therapeutic models and is defined by the notion that the mind and body directly influence each other. At our core, human beings are biological creatures and we have primal bodily needs that need to be acknowledged and addressed or else we will quite literally not function properly. These factors can include shelter from the elements, the air we breathe, the food we eat, the sleep we acquire that allows for healthy cognitive functioning and rejuvenation, as well as interpersonal connectivity needs for some (such as sex). If any of these components are disrupted, hindered, or challenged, then the individual will display strong impact onto their mental health presentation. The alternative is also true - when an individual is excelling and confident that their basic needs are consistently met, their mental health will often reflect this in a positive presentation.
An example of achieving the wellness initiative of a strong mind-body connection is an individual who is mindful and aware of their personal nutritional needs and opportunities for consistent bodily movement. It could also be displayed in an individual putting effort in the self care of acquiring and maintaining comfort in their home and developing nurturing qualities in their living space. One strong example of the mind-body connection is an individual conceptualizing the impact their interpersonal relationships have on their health presentation. Are their connections negatively or positively influencing their efforts in maintaining their health objectives? Do they feel physiologically stressed and overwhelmed with the perceived obligation of these connections?
With intensive therapeutic interventions, such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), the mind-body connection is a very imperative component of treating the whole individual. The interconnectedness between bodily sensations when processing distressing events and the cognitive/emotional perception of the experience is paramount. For many individuals the skill of self assessment with the mind-body connection is a challenging one that takes practice. It is common for survivors of traumatic events to subconsciously disconnect their awareness of physical responses to distress. In other scenarios, the opposite may occur where the individual solely experiences the physical responses with minimal connection to their understanding of their role in the event.
There are many clinical exercises and interventions that can enhance one’s development of the mind-body connection and they range from guided meditation to yoga to basic breath work. These exercises can be brief or intensive depending on the advancement of the client. Essentially the goal of the directive is to be an active listener of how the body communicates with the mind. If there is a feeling of any internal disruption (i.e. stress, pain, digestive difficulties, sadness, etc.) then you need to become a detective in considering interconnected components that might be attributing to it because it will lead to potential solutions and minimize self-sabotaging efforts (i.e. substance use for self-medication, avoidance, etc.). You are the best equipped entity to manage yourself as a whole, and the mind-body connection can help secure where your efforts are best directed.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
August 17, 2024
Building Emotional Intelligence…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 14
When we consider the phrase emotional intelligence, what comes to mind? Why have we found it necessary to decipher between particular forms of intelligence? How does tapping into depths of intelligence past basic intellect develop our sense of self? Human beings have cognitive faculties that offer extreme depth and typically strive to achieve internal as well as external connection to their environment surrounding them. The concept of emotional intelligence is relatively self explanatory; it revolves around one’s understanding and management of their emotions as well as those around them. The way we see this implemented in practice, however, is very broad and can be complex.
Strengthening one’s emotional intelligence is often a goal of therapeutic engagement (whether that be counseling or other methods of self growth), though it may not be directly identified in those words. Many individuals strive to improve their understanding of themselves and others. They may want to learn how to more efficiently moderate their emotional displays. Or they might want to use their emotions tactfully as a tool in communication and develop a more effective way of perceiving and understanding displays of others. The literature presents many viewpoints and directives in the conceptualization of emotional intelligence, but many pioneers in the field have aligned in offering frequent themes of enhancing one’s awareness of self and improving elements of empathy (both inward and outward).
Why should we care? If you are asked to consider all of your goals and objectives that are meaningful in your life right now it is expected that there is a direct line to needing to enhance elements of emotional intelligence. What is important to you in this moment? To find purpose in life - requires self awareness and motivation. To develop or improve a relationship - requires empathy, communication, and social skills. To obtain a career or job placement - requires moderation of emotion to present intellectual capabilities. Regardless of what is significant or important to you at any given moment, an understanding of your relation to emotions is imperative.
There are many strategies and techniques that could enhance and develop emotional intelligence. Simple tools include intermediate check-ins to assess situational antecedents for emotional presentations (i.e. noticing that I feel distressed or angry and very specifically identifying what preceded/caused it). Journaling or reviewing situations can assist in developing observant skills of your own emotions. Challenging yourself to listen to hear what a counterpart is offering in a discussion or argument, rather than listening to respond, can be helpful to many. Some more in depth procedures can be offered in clinical settings or through self-development workshops. Aside from the specifics of the strategies though is the fact that practice is necessary ongoing throughout life. Understanding that when we stop trying to improve in these areas, we stagnant our growth. Consistently being open to challenging experiences that alter our perceptions and homeostatic routines can promote adaptation which enhances our emotional intellectual presence.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
April 25, 2024
Network Development…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 13
In the clinical setting, I often preach the skill of developing a sound support network that is unique and tailored to each individual’s unique needs. Sometimes this practice is easily understood and clients are readily able to identify individuals and resources that they have historically been accustomed to utilizing. Other instances, clients severely struggle to conceptualize their network - this could be due to their limited access to community based connections, poor familial dynamics, and/or lack of a consistent social presence. There are many reasons as to why the development of a custom network is a necessary universal goal that requires time, focus, and attention to achieve.
The variety in types of supports an individual might want to confide in during a time of distress will span multiple outlets. I have found that the most effective development of support networks derive from creativity and independence of what is specifically needed. If a client has a partner or a close relationship to a particular person, then that person’s involvement in the therapeutic process might be helpful. Similarly with close friends or family - open disclosure from the client about their mental health management might support healthy growth. Other personnel supports that might be an integral part of a client’s network include vocational leaders such as employers or academic teachers. While these supports might be further outside the intimate comfort zone, it could be advantageous for an individual struggling with their mental health to present some data in a manner of self advocacy for effective problem solving and preventative measures to support achievement. More specific clinical supports include participation in group therapy options which may be available directly in the community or virtually to allow for connections associated more specifically to the condition(s) the individual struggles with or is managing. Lastly, it is helpful for every individual to be aware and familiar with emergency resources in case of urgent need. Should emotions or symptoms become overwhelming to the point where it is difficult to engage in other resources or with supports, objective clinical perspectives can be significantly helpful. If an individual in distress is not in immediate danger (i.e. is not experiencing thoughts of suicide, self harm, or thoughts of harm to others) then it may be helpful for them to contact a mental health “warm line”. These outlets provide immediate phone support and can help develop communicative connection. We know too well how effective cognitive and verbal processing can be in times of distress, and these warm lines can offer a line of reflection and healthy suggestion.
Connecticut Warm Lines: https://portal.ct.gov/DMHAS/Programs-and-Services/Advocacy/Warm-Lines
Massachusetts Warm Lines: https://www.mass.gov/info-details/dmh-young-adult-resource-guide-hotlines-warm-lines-and-young-adult-council-meetings#warm-lines-
For situations of grave distress and intensity it would be recommended that individuals pursue emergent engagement either with a local crisis line that could issue a mobile team for direct, in-person support, or the national crisis line at 988. Anyone who is struggling with thoughts of suicide, self harm, or harm to others can contact this national mental health line for immediate attention and support 24/7. It is also an imperative resource to know should you ever witness a loved one struggling with the aforementioned concerns as you may be an imperative part of their support network and can assist them with help from this line.
The key takeaway intended here is to understand the importance of trusting your own needs and allowing yourself to seek assistance when warranted. Similar to how we shouldn’t avoid receiving medical help when we break a bone, sometimes we need to enlist help and intervention for our mental wellbeing. Mental health concerns are not discriminatory - they effect individuals from all walks of life and backgrounds. It is incredibly important that we stop stigmatizing the human condition, as our psyche is unavoidably part of our condition. Allow yourself help and support - connect yourself to a tether outside of your struggles.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
January 5, 2024
Measuring Progress…
A Letter From a Therapist: Issue 12
How do we respond to the question “how are you”? The most typical response in our societal culture is to say “I’m good” or “I’m fine”, then default back to the asker - but what if we were expected to give a more accurate response? What if the placated expectations of societal norms were not at play and you were prompted to truly recount how you have been managing? This is a common practice within therapeutic treatment modalities but surprisingly, it is a practice that many clients find themselves unfamiliar with. How do we appropriately assess the progression and effectiveness of our therapeutic efforts? How do we quantitatively measure the effectiveness of our current treatment track?
When clients consider therapeutic interventions to enhance and improve psychiatric management, there is the process (often during their intake/evaluation) in which the conversation of what they hoped to achieve unfolds. This is an independent assessment from the client that helps the therapist to determine clinical goals that can be measured in accordance with achievement. For some clients, the process of determining their treatment goals can be a newfound exposure as they have limited their perception of what achievement looks in managing long-term (sometimes chronic) symptoms and conditions. It is recommended that clients consider and give some thought to what they hope to progress on within their clinical experience - whether that translates as reducing depressed mood and developing enjoyment in tasks they previously found fulfilling, mitigating environments that trigger panic or anxious distress, enhancing the ability to return to a workplace during which they endured trauma, etc. This will be unique to how the client sees their mental health factors influencing their life.
Once the treatment goals and objectives have been established, the methods for tracking progress can be considered. For some clients there are measurable methods to utilize that involve actual documented re-assessments for acknowledging frequency of symptom or episode presentations. Other measurements might be more subjective. Subjective progress measurements may include considering the client’s reflection on their ability to maintain consistent work, task completion, relational improvement, or even prioritization for self-care activities. Symptom tracking tools can often be very helpful if completed consistently and can appear in many different forms. For clients mitigating bipolar related conditions, episode and mood charting can be vastly helpful in considering patterns associated with episodic changes. For those managing depression or attention deficit symptoms, task completion lists can assist with accountability and recognition of patterns that contribute to avoidance behaviors. Clients can come to a decision with their therapists to determine what would be most useful and helpful in measuring their progress in treatment. One thing to keep in mind though is that these tools don’t have to be fancy! Keeping a simple checklist/note in one’s phone can sometimes help to provide a brief account on how they are doing so that when they reflect back they can see evidence of progression or regression.
The methods and practice of tracking therapeutic progress is unique and individual for each person as it is structured and developed to best align with their clinical presentations, as well as personal goals for attending and maintaining treatment. The wonderful result of this practice is that even following completion of therapy, a client can continue their own self assessments to reflect upon the skills and interventions they may want to enhance independently to prevent decompensation and exacerbation of symptoms. This process can create a lifestyle change in which an individual can feel confident advocating for themselves and their needs, as well as seek appropriate support networks when necessary.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
October 30, 2023
The Difficulties of Grief & Loss…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 11
It’s an unfortunate reality that grief and loss are central parts of the human condition. Many of us have had our share in experiencing loss in some shape or form. For some, the concept of death is an understandable part of the existential process. For others faith-based engagements help to conceptualize methods for acceptance and healing. There is no one true path for the experience of grief but if the impact of it is not effectively acknowledged and respected, it could significantly jeopardize the trajectory of one’s healing process.
The landscape of grief includes stages which are commonly discussed and referred to in the clinical field. There are six general stages of grief and loss that include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is crucial that an individual going through loss considers how each of these stages present to them. Denial is frequently an initial stage following loss in which the individual cannot conceptualize a life without their loved one and might actually refuse to accept their absence. Bargaining is present when individuals attempt to delay or change the reality of their loss and can result in the understandable resistance of “moving on”. Anger and depression are relatively self-explanatory but can actually result in progressive mood difficulties that might warrant more extreme intervention. The clinical diagnosis of complicated grief disorder develops when the long-term impact of emotional reactivity is so severe that it influences and challenges one’s life necessities, roles, and relationships. Acceptance has it’s own significance and meaning for each individual person. It often reflects that the person can understand the role and impact of grief in their life, memorialize their lost loved one, and progress forward with intentions of honoring their experience. These stages are usually not linear and can shift back and forth depending on the effect the loss has had on various factors in one’s life.
Acceptance can take on many different appearances and can include healthy memorials and anniversaries in remembrance of the loved one who’s passed. It doesn’t have to be an exhaustive effort, but should consistently reflect of the impact the experience had on shifting and changing the trajectory of their life. Some healing tasks with grief include experiencing and acknowledging the pain that resulted from the loss in order to adjust to a new environment with the absence and reinvest in a new reality.
To assume that we naturally and organically have the best tools and strategies to adapt to these relational changes is unfair in many ways. More often than not grief can trigger an internal trauma response, particularly when we unexpectedly lose someone we were in close relation to. Sometimes the mind can heal and shift to prioritize self-care and adaptability whereas other times clinical intervention is warranted to assist in stabilization. Having an environment and space where supportive processing is allowed and encouraged at a pace that is comfortable for the surviving person can be a significant source of healing. Additionally, developing methods for existential reframing and redirection of a future concept of self can greatly assist progression forward. Therapeutic interventions such as cognitive behavioral methods for processing have been known to be empirically effective in these circumstances. Paying attention to how you or a loved one is coping with loss can help determine if an impartial and objective clinical provider could assist in their process. Please don’t hesitate to explore therapeutic resources if you or a loved one are struggling to navigate the grieving process - you don’t have to feel isolated or alone in it.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
July 14, 2023
EMDR Explained…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 10
Did you know that Preservation Within Therapy Practice offers EMDR therapy? Let’s take some time to explore what EMDR treatment is and whether it could be the right clinical path for you! EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and is a strongly effective treatment option for various psychological conditions. The purpose of EMDR is to help an individual recover from difficult past experiences. Distressing experiences and traumatic events can trigger intense responses in our brain and alter how we perceive ourselves and the world around us which can result in feelings of being overwhelmed. In other words, our brains can convince us that we are reliving the bad experiences, even if we are in a safe or neutral environment. Some individuals who struggle with these symptoms do meet criteria for posttraumatic stress disorder whereas others find that they have simply developed themes of distress related to their experiences that restrict their lives. Trauma recovery is not a one-size-fits-all process but EMDR can greatly promote avenues for healing.
The EMDR process focuses on identifying an individual’s theme of distress in order to desensitize small, manageable chunks of the memories linked to it. This is completed by keeping the person grounded in the present while processing through the past recollections. When we experience trauma, the memory can get locked in the brain along with negative thoughts, emotions, and sensations. This is why present day triggers can bring about extreme responses.
The neurological AIP (Adaptive Information Processing) model shows that a human being can overcome these dysfunctions in EMDR by accessing, desensitizing, and reprocessing reactions to the stored memories with the tool of bilateral stimulation (a simple yet impactful way of bringing stored memory forth through the use of eye movements - or other alternative methods if necessary). Bilateral stimulation triggers communication across the brain during memory recall and can reduce the intensity of the memory which allows the individual to improve how they perceive themselves associated with the experience.
EMDR is considered one of the most effective therapeutic modalities available in the psychology field for effective treatment of trauma exposure. It has also been found to be measurably effective in treating countless other psychiatric conditions (including anxiety, depression, panic disorder, phobias, and even in assisting substance use recovery efforts). The tool of unlocking distress from the past in order to better adapt and respond to the present allows individuals to have sustained hope and confidence in managing their future. The empirical clinical data to support EMDR is positively overwhelming and suggests that the modality with have a long supported future in the psychology field.
If you are interested in learning more about the EMDR process, research that has been conducted, or would like to search for therapists certified local to you click here to be directed to the EMDRIA (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing International Association) webpage: https://www.emdria.org. Feel free to reach out to us if you are interested in learning of EMDR treatment opportunities with Preservation Within Therapy Practice!
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
April 21, 2023
Developing a Personal Elevator Pitch…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 9
It’s a new year so let’s mix things up a bit! Rather than your friendly neighborhood therapist offering insights and education on a particular topic, I’d like to invite you to implement a therapeutic tool this quarter. The intervention in question is one I’ve assigned to many clients over the years: developing your own personal “elevator pitch”. This is a great exercise that can be implemented frequently in the span of one’s lifetime so why not explore it at the start of a fresh new year?
Now to begin, let’s consider what an elevator pitch is. An elevator pitch is a brief and understandable explanation of a particular topic. The topic in question for this exercise is you! The goal is to develop a short but intriguing and compelling summary of who you are in all of your uniqueness. Tell it in story format, or even as a speech. The content of this could include basic facts such as your identity as it relates to those closest to you (i.e. parent, partner, sibling, etc.), your vocation/career goals, past achievements, etc. It can also include unique and authentic facts such as your fun quirky traits, passions, interests/hobbies, or future hopes for yourself. This should be a brief opportunity to present how you see yourself in a positive light. If you’re getting stuck, one way to hone in on significant data about yourself is to consider your value systems. You could also ask those around you what they see as your positive traits - you might be surprised by the impressive observations others make about us.
Now that we have an idea of how to complete this exercise, we want to consider why we would bother doing it (aside from the obvious benefit of expressive writing). Consider what circumstances a personal elevator pitch might be useful in. You may find that if you are a career driven individual, much of what you choose to express could be easily translated into a job interview or cover letter. If you’re more invested in social growth then practicing your pitch for networking events, gatherings, or even first dates would be a wonderful use. It can also be helpful when considering where you feel as though improvements can be made in a constructive fashion.
So, get to it! Write a few drafts and keep it relatively short - aim for it to be about 30 seconds. Take some time and conceptualize what you want others to know about you. You’ll be surprised how positive this exercise can allow you to feel. We all bring unique accomplishments, traits, and idiosyncrasies to our environments. Be proud of who you are and practice telling it to others. Recite your elevator pitch in front of a mirror, record it, or type it up and put it where you’ll see it often. If you are struggling to find the time to sit down and write it out in length then break it up. There are no rules for how this needs to develop as long as it does.
Trust me, you’ll appreciate taking the time to prioritize this exercise!
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
January 14, 2023
Seasonal Shift Preparation…
A Letter From a Therapist: Issue 8
This time of year carries personal meaning for each individual as we are entering a timeframe which might represent excitement or anxiety for the upcoming holidays, reminders of grief and hardships that occurred throughout the previous year, or even hope for a fresh new year to begin. In addition, with extreme seasonal changes, many often report experiencing increased mental health concerns. Daylight becomes shorter which can restrict one’s alertness, attention, and even accessibility to activities that they would typically use for leisure and decompression. For many, this results in schedules consisting of more idle time and isolation. The concept of seasonal depression (clinically referred to as seasonal affective disorder or depression influenced by seasonal patterns) is widely discussed within the psychology field. Generally speaking, individuals prone to these conditions have patterns of mood-related difficulties during particular times of the year (primarily experienced within the fall and winter months). There are many suggestions around what can cause shifts in mood presentation during seasonal changes and they often include daylight restrictions (which alter biological clock regulation that promotes consistent sleep patterns) and vitamin D deficiencies.
So why is this topic important? Simply put, whether you are an individual who manages mood disruption or not (depression, bipolar, etc.), it is advantageous for you to consider whether these periodic shifts alter your emotions. Environment plays a great deal of influence on our internal composition and emotional presentation. If you are predisposed to an identifiable mood disorder or mood related episodes, then it is to your advantage to prepare and plan by enhancing your coping toolbox to prevent potential decompensation in your presentation, goal directives, relational engagements, etc.
There are some proactive measures that one can take in anticipation for these seasonal shifts that can develop a sense of security. Behavioral initiatives are substantially important in these preventative measures so it would help to build a schedule that involves multiple options for attention and engagement. Sometimes we may even have to fabricate opportunities to engage in behaviors that promote our health or social presence. For instance, it is important to stay active when moderating emotional balance for the sake of our health as well as to have an outlet for negative energy diffusion. When the days feel shorter, being active can be difficult to fathom so we need to get creative. Prioritizing walking your dog outside in your local neighborhood prior to dusk might be an appropriate and justifiable option during these times. Another example of fabricating opportunities is in the need to maintain interpersonal connections - this can be difficult if we don’t have our own supports available to us. An alternative would be to leave your isolated space and spend some time within the energy of others - a few hours at a local coffee shop or taking your time while doing your groceries would achieve this motive. By taking charge of developing and having control over opportunities for activation, you can feel growth of personal control over your energy consumption and depletion.
Most importantly, tap into your supports and resources. Be attentive in your mindful reflection if you are in more need of support and be willing to step outside of your traditional comfort zone to engage in them (i.e. attend a local grief support group if you feel lonely in your upcoming holiday plans or tap into nostalgic activities that provided security to you while you were a child to self soothe). If you engage in clinical resources, connect with your therapist or prescriber about any concerns of increased melancholy, depression, or anhedonia (feeling disinterested in activities that would previously offer enjoyment).
Respect yourself and be proactive in your care during this upcoming season.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
November 9, 2022
Work - Life Balance…
A Letter From a Therapist: Issue 7
What does vocational burnout mean to you? The difficulty of maintaining a work-life balance is a very frequently identified issue in the therapeutic setting and can be a significant factor in the development and maintenance of mental health concerns. Fortunately, this topic has been an important theme of conversation as of late and has opened discussions around methods for self-care, advocacy in the workplace, and prioritization of health and wellness. Ongoing progress in this discussion can eventually aid in supporting progressive change in the rapport one can expect from their employer and workplace. So if this is a topic that speaks to you, read on for some additional thoughts.
One way to consider efforts of structuring a healthier work-life balance is to review the wellness model. There are many facets involved in balancing our complete wellness which can include our health needs, psychological wellbeing, relational priorities, intellectual interests, and more. Thus we need to make it our priority to offer time and commitment to all aspects of wellness or we risk monopolizing our energy and burning out efforts in other important areas. It is by no means easy to have complete balance in all wellness factors which is why careful consideration needs to be taken in regards to our vocational commitments. Many of us spend a great deal of our existence within our work, whether that includes one’s scheduled work hours, travel related to work, working from home, or other event commitments. Because our society has high expectations for these vocational commitments, it is imperative that we each put in our counter-effort to balance it with consistent and strong rejuvenation efforts.
Due to changes resulting from the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us have found opportunities that include working from our home spaces. Although this has become a very convenient option, we should give thought to whether it is a long-term healthy solution. Success in working from home subjectively depends on each individual and their ability to maintain separation and healthy boundaries with their vocational roles to allow for the growth and development of other commitments. Maintaining a consistent schedule, although not possible for some, would be a great way to hold accountability and improve time management skills - and yes this includes logging off from your workplace emails and other forms of communication after hours. It is understandable that for many professions, this type of clear separation in one’s schedule is not practical (i.e. first responders, professionals “on call”, or individuals with rotating/inconsistent shifts). If you find yourself in one of those categories, start drafting a plan that can include periodic check-ins to assess what you need to redirect your attention and rejuvenate your energy during breaks. It doesn’t have to be a monumental change - a simple walk outside during a lunch break can help recharge and reset one’s thought process!
In researching for this post, I came across a startling statistic in a 2019 article published by the Washington Post. It was discovered that in an average year, 55 percent of Americans do not use all of their earned paid leave/vacation time. At first that notion baffled me, but then in reflection I realized that I myself have neglected to utilize my complete benefits while in previous workplaces. When applying for vocational positions, we oftentimes will make selections of a good employment fit based on a number of factors - benefits being one of them (with leave time being one of those benefits we strongly consider). Why is it so common that we don’t utilize what is rightfully earned to balance the requirements of our jobs? Many times it becomes an inconvenience to take time away from work; or we return to work with a mountain of unattended issues that we need to urgently address. So if this speaks to you, get creative in how you can utilize what is rightfully yours in a way that does not suffocate and burden you. Take a few hours off of a workday every so often with intention to spend with family or complete a household project. Using the concept of mental health days can be of assistance in taking an earned leave day to reset and focus on another facet of your wellbeing. Some of these changes can be startlingly simple and can include enhancing mindfulness for when you leave the workplace and begin your commute home. An effective work-life balance doesn’t have to be an intimidating change, but the efforts towards it can present more insights into your needs that are not being met.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
August 11, 2022
The Balance of Emotional Regulation…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 6
What does it mean to be “emotionally regulated”? This is a very common (and valid) goal of both therapy and daily life. Before we think about what it’s like to be emotionally regulated, lets consider some examples of the opposite. If you reminisce on some of the most difficult days of your life, more likely than not emotional intensity was a large part of the experience (whether it was caused by something experiential or not). Whatever had transpired during that day, it resulted in you feeling upset, disturbed, irritated, or distressed. What are some primary examples of emotional deregulation? Sadness, stress, anger, and grief can all be examples that many of us can relate to far too well and frequently. When we find that these emotions build and flood us, we know that they are vastly unavoidable and necessary to address. Some individuals are also predisposed in a way that these persistent developments can progress into clinical conditions that impair various psychosocial factors such as their relationships, vocations, and health.
If we consider healthy negative emotions, we need to remember the facts of a balanced reality. A positive experience cannot exist in a reality that doesn’t also include negative experiences. For example, the existence of happiness relies on the fact that sadness exists. If we didn’t experience a spectrum of emotions, we would exist in constant indifference and numbness. As I often say to myself and clients, stress is a very healthy and natural part of our existence. It is the most organic warning sign that we can experience and thus it assists in our survival. It alerts us to what we should pay attention to. In other words, without it we could experience significant catastrophe. With it, we know what it feels like to experience the opposite of it (relaxation and grounding). It allows us that gift and if we can understand that, we can even build gratitude for it’s presence.
So if you were to consider your own existence, what would (or does) emotional regulation look like for you? Is it an existence without constant fear of physiological panic developing, a restful night sleep without the intrusion of trauma based nightmares, feeling like you can ground yourself in the simplicities of daily gratitude, or feeling like you can focus on a task list without being derailed for hours on end? Finding out what your answer is to that question is a wonderful practice and should yield various different results depending on your circumstances. Ultimately you want to process “what allows me to feel stable”. The answer to this is never a simple or definite response and it should be thought provoking. We need many strategies to assist ourselves for the complexities that we experience in our lives because what our reality is today can be vastly different from yesterday or tomorrow. But a potion of this process should include acknowledging the balance of our existence that allows us to have the good days when they develop.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
April 16, 2022
A Perspective On “New Years Resolutions”…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 5
Another year has concluded and a new year has begun. Closure of a year in a life can absolutely provide a wonderful opportunity for reflection. With this also comes expectations and obligations that we develop what we consider “resolutions”. How many of us can honestly say that we have fulfilled resolutions that we’ve set? The emotional feeling of a fresh new start give us the confidence that we will be successful so we often aim high. But we don’t keep into account that the burdens of our life are still very much present. Therefore, simply putting up a new calendar and hoping that positive change comes our way doesn’t guarantee success. And without success, we are often left feeling guilty or ashamed that we did not achieve what we set out to.
So does this mean we shouldn’t put the burden of resolutions onto ourselves? Not necessarily, rather I think we should reflect on what can allow for consistent change and progress within ourselves. If you are an individual who relishes the idea of utilizing the new year to set a goal for yourself then by all means, progress forward. But please hesitate to set it under the guise of an obligation. Instead, review the sustainable aspect of what you want to achieve. What can you do everyday to move you closer little by little? Also consider the attainable aspect of the goal. Is what you’re trying to achieve healthy and realistic or is it too broad or overreaching? Let’s briefly consider these tools with the classic resolution of wanting to address fitness (the desire to lose excess weight, get back to the gym, eat healthier, etc.). These are very important goals and should be prioritized for some individuals, but in a way that doesn’t trigger distress in the changes or guilt in stagnation. They should be specific and ideally guided by a support network (i.e. a medical doctor who could offer feedback or resources or a wellness support group). I also pose a challenge to consider a resolution that you haven’t put forth in the past. It’s harsh to set the same objective year after year when an approach has been minimally successful. So think outside of the box!
If resolutions and goals for change are not a priority at the start of the new year, then I encourage you to do a practice that is arguably even more important. We have minimal opportunities to track the passing of time as humans and we often feel the result of that when it seems as though we look up and years seem to have passed before our eyes. The new year is a rare moment when we do allow ourselves to briefly reflect simply due to the calendar resetting on January 1st. It’s been 365 days in the life since the last time we celebrated a new year. What has happened in those hours, days, weeks, and months? Make it a habit of exercising cognitive processing by remembering the last year in your life. Identify the grief, the loss, and the pain. And identify the moments that you were settled, or experienced happiness. You’re going into the next 365 days carrying every experience and will be adding so much more in a years time (both positive and negative). It would be aspirational to momentarily allow yourself the support of acknowledging what you’ve endured.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
January 9, 2022
Interviewing Your Therapist…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 4
The process of beginning therapy can be intimidating - you are essentially selecting a professional to assist and guide you through the cognitive processes of your life. You will eventually rely on their clinical guidance and expertise for the development of coping skills while entrusting them with very personal self disclosure details. So therefore, shouldn’t you be selective in the finding the right professional to fill this role? Similar to how you would manage the apprehension of making any large decision, you want to explore your therapist’s competence as it relates to your needs.
When a client attends their first appointment with a new therapist (often referred to as an intake, assessment, or evaluation) the therapist will often ask the client various questions about their history and reasons for seeking counseling services at this time. This helps to gage a variety of factors including the client’s possible diagnoses if present, treatment modalities that might benefit them, our own competency for treating the client, and whether we feel the therapeutic relationship would be a good fit. So therefore, it stands to reason that the client should also be considering for themselves if they feel like the therapist is a good fit for them. Building rapport and comfort in a clinical setting is of significant importance in the therapeutic process and can largely influence success and achievement.
Many times, the therapist will wrap up an intake assessment with a client by inquiring on whether they have any questions regarding their initial treatment plan or the process that is expected to unfold. So, what should they ask? It’s the perfect opportunity to learn a bit about the fitness of your provider and whether they satisfy your needs and intentions for beginning this process. Some inquiries might focus on their clinical experience and professional history (i.e. asking about their license, educational background, or speciality population). Others might find it imperative to understand the cost of services to prevent any confusion around their financial commitment for the frequency of sessions determined (i.e. verifying the cost of each session to the client with their insurance coverage and understanding out of network benefits that might be available). Or what might be important to a client is the therapist’s clinical approach and therapeutic style that they might be exposed to in their treatment (i.e. modalities that are expected to be used, standard length of treatment or sessions, expectations of engagement between sessions, and establishment of counseling goals).
So be picky - therapists at their core are human themselves and a client’s ability to advocate in finding the right therapeutic fit can be a wonderful start to the healing process. Unfortunately at this time, some prospective clients may be finding that depending on their location, there is a shortage of therapeutic providers in their area. Please don’t give up your search - reach out to professionals and if their practice is currently full ask for referral sources. This search can be an important part of the recovery process as establishing your mental health care is a wonderful form of wellness and self discovery. Contact your insurance companies for referral lists to determine professionals that are credentialed with your plans for reimbursement. Search on PsychologyToday.com to easily contact and communicate with a large database of local providers while filtering criteria that represent your conditions. If the first few providers aren’t available to take on your case or you aren’t comfortable with the fit, know that your treatment opportunity is still out there. Be patient in the process while also true to your treatment goals and needs.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
October 11, 2021
Mindfulness Explained…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 3
To say many of us have been under a bit of additional stress in the recent months would be a colossal understatement. Sometimes when we find ourselves stuck in a perpetual state of distress we have a very hard time mediating our emotions and in turn our interpersonal interactions and connections suffer. So how can we cope? How can we be better at taking in an inordinate amount of expectations for ourselves and still sustain a sense of calm? One thing that can be of assistance to help us focus on only the step in front of us is the practice of mindfulness.
What is mindfulness? We hear this word frequently in our current society and therefore many related topics might come to mind. You might hear mindfulness and stereotypically think of a yogi instructing a group of people to breathe deeply and recite “olm” as they meditate. Or the thought of a beautiful scenery might come to mind as you daydream about the ocean or a serene mountain landscape. Essentially these thoughts aren’t wrong, but I think they overcomplicate the concept. Mindfulness is one of the most simple, basic, and natural states one could attempt to achieve. The literal definition involves being aware or in a state of consciousness - in other words, being present. The most effective way to achieve a healthy balance with stress and chaos is to empower mindfulness and an element of present awareness.
Sounds easy, right? In theory it makes sense, but it’s surprising how many of us find this to be a very difficult and unnatural state. Rather we find ourselves consistently immersed in stress and dysfunction and need to consciously work at developing a sense of calm and awareness. Therefore it can take practice to narrow our attention to a point. We need to tunnel our conscious vision to one thing in our present environment in order to slow down and begin this process. One way to conceptualize the implementation of mindfulness is to define what is influencing our five senses at any given moment. What in your present space can you touch, see, hear, smell, and taste? Look to other aspects in your environment - how intense the lighting is, what the temperature is, how our body feels, etc. We often exist in our spaces with little thought and are preoccupied with our future intentions. Pulling our focus back to the present can have a significant healing effect and can enhance our ability to ground.
So go forth with an element of simplicity - hone into the basics of your senses. There is a need to create this element of vulnerability in our presence and to remind yourself that it’s okay to not always be preoccupied with future planning. I assure you that with practice and consistency, the skills of mindfulness and awareness can transform anxious distress into healing though grounding. So remember, focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
July 8, 2021
Let’s Talk Supports…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 2
If you’re finding yourself reading this, then odds are you have either considered therapy as an option for yourself or someone you care about. If that’s the case, congratulations! It suggests that you are able to identify, consider, and embrace the use of supports and resources for mental health. But if we were to take a broader approach, what does support truly mean to our journey? In researching the definition of the term support you’ll find that many interpretations involve the concepts of “assisting” or “bearing weight” in some form. So pause for a moment to consider this: the purpose of a support is to share and balance the weight - the weight of what you ask? Of whatever! In this case, the weight we are specifically considering is psychological and could include a variety of ailments such as depressive isolation, vocational avoidance, relational stress, etc.
In the mental health field, we like to explore with clients what they identify as their support network. This is an important piece of the clinical process as it allows them to gain appreciation for those whom can be naturally identified as supports while appreciating where support might be lacking. The objective of this process is to strengthen what’s present, while considering what can be pursued to enhance one’s journey.
Let us identify for a moment the natural supports that come to mind (friends, colleagues, parents, siblings, partners, life coaches, teachers, or you guessed it - therapists!). Along with this list comes the less conventional supports which I’ll discuss in a moment. There is legitimacy in exploring more than just who we vent about our day to. While that is an important form of verbal processing, we want to broaden our definition of what is supportive to us. There is a necessary difference between whom we identify in our inner circle (those whom we confide our most sensitive needs to) versus those in our outer circle (those whom we find to be positive company though require a more selective approach with what we disclose). Acknowledging and defining these two groups provide us power as we can maintain control and exercise self preservation with our stories and experiences. Aside from our comrades and loved ones, it is often forgotten that our support networks could also include spaces and activities that allow us to feel grounded and soothed. Take note that empathy and care does not always have to appear as a person. Rather, it can be recognized through a comforting activity, a nostalgic event, or even in the unconditional love of a pet. So take the time to exercise your mind and embrace what’s available to you!
Why is it beneficial to your mental health to have a support network? The experience of loneliness can be significantly overwhelming. It can trigger depressive symptoms and isolation, which many of us are familiar with due to the influence of the current pandemic. That being said, we often struggle to actually say the words “I need help” and the reason for this is wide and variant with many factors contributing to our resistance. Asking for help requires us to be vulnerable and, at times, to self disclose details that we may not be comfortable with bringing forth. Therefore, we vastly avoid such opportunities. But it is essential to challenge this automatic avoidance as vulnerability is certain not the worst place we could find ourselves in. Genuinely asking someone how they are could open doors for them and can allow them to express needs they may not have known were present. So in conclusion, I challenge you you to access the strength of presenting empathy to your neighbors as well as allow yourself to seize opportunities for your own cathartic connections.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
April 7, 2021
Hello and Welcome…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 1
I offer you congratulations for taking this step in considering therapy services and would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to our practice. Preservation Within Therapy Practice, LLC was established in early 2020 during the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic as a beacon of support to those seeking a space to ground and heal. As the practice has developed, so has the enhancement in the ability to maintain therapy services remotely. Our practice has embraced the opportunity to be able to continue providing services in a seamless, confidential experience from the comfort of one’s home. This is one instance that reflects our commitment to our clients to continuously implement the methods and techniques that are best practices for our present climate.
So, is therapy right for you?
As a therapist, I often get asked the question “who should be in therapy?”. This question is always curious to me but I hope that by breaking it down here you can feel as though you have an understanding that “who” is often not the correct question; rather, the question “when is therapy right for me?” is more appropriate for most. The process of counseling can provide many purposes. It can offer an objective and unbiased space to gain insights regarding our daily stressors, it can provide education and understanding of our conditions, it can suggest implementation of skills for coping and managing aspects of life, and it can simply provide an environment of safety for us to reflect.
What I can offer as an initial suggestion is that you hold yourself accountable to promote opportunities for self preservation, whether that includes therapy or not. We are often far more resilient than we know and through this process together, we could further embrace our hidden strengths. Please feel comfortable reaching out to decide if this is a good starting point for your journey. I look forward to hearing from you.
Best Regards,
Amanda J Nowak, LPC, LMHC
December 26, 2020