Building Emotional Intelligence…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 14
When we consider the phrase emotional intelligence, what comes to mind? Why have we found it necessary to decipher between particular forms of intelligence? How does tapping into depths of intelligence past basic intellect develop our sense of self? Human beings have cognitive faculties that offer extreme depth and typically strive to achieve internal as well as external connection to their environment surrounding them. The concept of emotional intelligence is relatively self explanatory; it revolves around one’s understanding and management of their emotions as well as those around them. The way we see this implemented in practice, however, is very broad and can be complex.
Strengthening one’s emotional intelligence is often a goal of therapeutic engagement (whether that be counseling or other methods of self growth), though it may not be directly identified in those words. Many individuals strive to improve their understanding of themselves and others. They may want to learn how to more efficiently moderate their emotional displays. Or they might want to use their emotions tactfully as a tool in communication and develop a more effective way of perceiving and understanding displays of others. The literature presents many viewpoints and directives in the conceptualization of emotional intelligence, but many pioneers in the field have aligned in offering frequent themes of enhancing one’s awareness of self and improving elements of empathy (both inward and outward).
Why should we care? If you are asked to consider all of your goals and objectives that are meaningful in your life right now it is expected that there is a direct line to needing to enhance elements of emotional intelligence. What is important to you in this moment? To find purpose in life - requires self awareness and motivation. To develop or improve a relationship - requires empathy, communication, and social skills. To obtain a career or job placement - requires moderation of emotion to present intellectual capabilities. Regardless of what is significant or important to you at any given moment, an understanding of your relation to emotions is imperative.
There are many strategies and techniques that could enhance and develop emotional intelligence. Simple tools include intermediate check-ins to assess situational antecedents for emotional presentations (i.e. noticing that I feel distressed or angry and very specifically identifying what preceded/caused it). Journaling or reviewing situations can assist in developing observant skills of your own emotions. Challenging yourself to listen to hear what a counterpart is offering in a discussion or argument, rather than listening to respond, can be helpful to many. Some more in depth procedures can be offered in clinical settings or through self-development workshops. Aside from the specifics of the strategies though is the fact that practice is necessary ongoing throughout life. Understanding that when we stop trying to improve in these areas, we stagnant our growth. Consistently being open to challenging experiences that alter our perceptions and homeostatic routines can promote adaptation which enhances our emotional intellectual presence.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
April 25, 2024
