Let’s Talk Supports…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 2
If you’re finding yourself reading this, then odds are you have either considered therapy as an option for yourself or someone you care about. If that’s the case, congratulations! It suggests that you are able to identify, consider, and embrace the use of supports and resources for mental health. But if we were to take a broader approach, what does support truly mean to our journey? In researching the definition of the term support you’ll find that many interpretations involve the concepts of “assisting” or “bearing weight” in some form. So pause for a moment to consider this: the purpose of a support is to share and balance the weight - the weight of what you ask? Of whatever! In this case, the weight we are specifically considering is psychological and could include a variety of ailments such as depressive isolation, vocational avoidance, relational stress, etc.
In the mental health field, we like to explore with clients what they identify as their support network. This is an important piece of the clinical process as it allows them to gain appreciation for those whom can be naturally identified as supports while appreciating where support might be lacking. The objective of this process is to strengthen what’s present, while considering what can be pursued to enhance one’s journey.
Let us identify for a moment the natural supports that come to mind (friends, colleagues, parents, siblings, partners, life coaches, teachers, or you guessed it - therapists!). Along with this list comes the less conventional supports which I’ll discuss in a moment. There is legitimacy in exploring more than just who we vent about our day to. While that is an important form of verbal processing, we want to broaden our definition of what is supportive to us. There is a necessary difference between whom we identify in our inner circle (those whom we confide our most sensitive needs to) versus those in our outer circle (those whom we find to be positive company though require a more selective approach with what we disclose). Acknowledging and defining these two groups provide us power as we can maintain control and exercise self preservation with our stories and experiences. Aside from our comrades and loved ones, it is often forgotten that our support networks could also include spaces and activities that allow us to feel grounded and soothed. Take note that empathy and care does not always have to appear as a person. Rather, it can be recognized through a comforting activity, a nostalgic event, or even in the unconditional love of a pet. So take the time to exercise your mind and embrace what’s available to you!
Why is it beneficial to your mental health to have a support network? The experience of loneliness can be significantly overwhelming. It can trigger depressive symptoms and isolation, which many of us are familiar with due to the influence of the current pandemic. That being said, we often struggle to actually say the words “I need help” and the reason for this is wide and variant with many factors contributing to our resistance. Asking for help requires us to be vulnerable and, at times, to self disclose details that we may not be comfortable with bringing forth. Therefore, we vastly avoid such opportunities. But it is essential to challenge this automatic avoidance as vulnerability is certain not the worst place we could find ourselves in. Genuinely asking someone how they are could open doors for them and can allow them to express needs they may not have known were present. So in conclusion, I challenge you you to access the strength of presenting empathy to your neighbors as well as allow yourself to seize opportunities for your own cathartic connections.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC, LMHC
April 7, 2021
